Girlfriend from Hell (1989)
Back of the box...
“Pursued through the universe by God’s hit man “Chaser,” the Devil swoops down on a teen birthday celebration and into the body of geeky wallflower Maggie. Soon the joint is jumping as devilishly sexy Maggie gives birthday presents that leave all the other girls outraged and their boyfriends breathless—and soulless.
Nuns with rocket launchers, quick trips through outer space, bathtubs full of bodies, restaurants where food attacks the customers, killer sex—they’re all part of the fun in Girlfriend from Hell.”
Director: Daniel Peterson
Starring: Liane Curtis, Dana Ashbrook, Lezlie Deane
Watch the Trailer
Chaser, the appropriately named bounty-hunter, runs out on the Devil after a one-night-stand and is now awkwardly tasked with destroying the Princess of Evil in order to gain entry into heaven. The long-dead womanizer and inventor of the condom, with laser blaster in hand, travels through space as a ball of blue light in pursuit of his ticket to salvation. Meanwhile, painfully anti-social teen, Maggie, prepares for a blind date with equally maladjusted Carl. They’re set-up at a birthday party being held at the house from Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. After Carl tries out some winning advice he got from dear old Dad regarding sticking his tongue in her ear, the two excuse themselves to puke. That’s when the Devil crash lands into Maggie’s body. Now possessed by pure evil, Maggie has a new lust for life, booze, and especially men.
In addition to an off-the-wall, bat-shit-crazy storyline, Girlfriend from Hell also features an arguably noteworthy cast. Our leads are played by Dana Ashbrook of Twin Peaks fame and Liane Curtis, who if you don’t recognize from Critters 2 and Rock ‘n’ Roll High School Forever, you might know her as Molly Ringwald’s best friend in Sixteen Candles. The rest of the cast are a who’s-who of 21 Jump Street guest appearances and 80’s horror stars from films such as Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, and Return of the Living Dead. All that, an amazing movie poster, and a theme song that sounds like the Psychedelic Furs and the Ramones had a baby, and they still manage to fuck it up?
That’s right, despite everything it has going for it, Girlfriend from Hell is somehow a terrible movie! But since when has a movie being terrible stopped it from being fun? From the film’s awful improv-like dialogue and fully clothed sex scene, to its overbearing background music that manages to distract throughout every scene, it’s not tough to find flaws (seriously, the first bit of much needed exposition telling us what’s going on is drowned out by cheesy drum and bass music that sounds like it belongs on the DVD menu screen for Bebe’s Kids). The acting is jaw-droppingly bad with no shortage of laugh-out-loud, cringe worthy line deliveries. The cast of characters are a classic assortment of 80’s teen standards which the movie seems to rely on our previous knowledge of these archetypes rather than fleshing them out themselves. There’s a diluted raunchiness to the film, suggesting that its success on late night television was partly by design. The most-watched streaming version of the movie looks to be a VHS transfer recorded from the former Canadian horror channel, Scream. Don’t worry though, there are no commercial breaks and you still get cursing and boobs.
If you liked the 90’s nerd-to-babe movie She’s All That but were disappointed that Rachael Leigh Cook didn’t develop any satanic powers or fuck any dudes to death, you might enjoy Girlfriend from Hell. Or maybe you’re just into bad movies, late night horror comedies, 80’s cliches, and nuns with bazookas. In that case, Girlfriend from Hell was basically made for you. Don’t worry, we won’t judge your shitty taste in movies.
Did we mention Girlfriend from Hell was made into a musical? Weird, huh